Kale and Lentils

I give to you an overheard, paraphrased, one-sided phone conversation at Whole Foods Bowery in New York City in eleventy-one words...

‘I’ve been working out.’

‘Yeah, I have a trainer.’

‘I lift weights and do cardio four times a week.’

‘But I’m still a skinny bitch. If you saw me you’d say I look exactly the same.’

‘I’ve been going for three months. He says I’m exercising and eating right. He tells me to be patient.’

‘I eat like a fucking bird.’

‘Yes, kale and lentils and other tasteless shit. Do you know how much protein powder costs?’

‘I’m over it.’

‘What’s worse is I’m surrounded by people who do nothing and look perfect.’

‘I know.’

‘I know.’

‘I know!’

‘I’m never going to find anyone anyway. Why do I even bother?’