A Wish

I give to you a conversation in two times eleventy-one words...

A wish?
A wish.
This seems sketchy.
Why, because you didn’t find me in a lamp?
Yeah, for one. What are the conditions?
No conditions.
That doesn’t seem right.
Why is that?
Don’t I get three wishes?
I used to do three. It got… complicated.
What do you mean?
Never mind that. I’m offering a wish. Do you want it?
Yes. Does that mean I can wish for more wishes?
If you’d like.
Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of not giving three wishes?
Nope.
Are you trying to trick me?
Why would I try to trick you?
Why wouldn’t you?
If I had wanted to trick you, I could have interpreted any one of your questions as a wish. I haven’t.
Oh.

He pauses.

Why wouldn’t everyone wish for more wishes?
Not sure.
Has everyone wished for that?
Is that your wish?
What?
To know what everyone else has wished.
No.
I have been lax with you thus far. This is no trick. But beware your next utterance lest you live with regret.

He pauses again.

I want to think about it.

The genie sighs.

Your wish is my command. You will think about the one wish you wish to wish for all your days.

With that, the genie disappears leaving the boy to consider the one wish he could have wished.

Open Book

I give to you a text conversation I had with a friend in eleventy-one words...

Have fun last night?

Yes, but it was a bit much. People. Sweat.

I escaped the muchness.

There you go.

There I went, technically.

Very you.

A predictably open book as it were.

I think you have a few chapters locked away.

Does anyone ever share everything? If so, is it not but an approximation based on personal bias? No person can ever be captured except in collections of fleeting moments.

Poetic and true.

Not sure it’s poetic, but it certainly smacks of the elusive concept called truth.

You love words.

Are you nicely calling me verbose?

Affirmative.

I am also accomplished at curt one-word replies.

I’m well aware.

Truth abounds.

Pig

I give to you a conversation about a pet pig in eleventy-one words...

The two older women ate their breakfast in a café overlooking Alki beach.

‘My sister bought a pig.’

‘A pig?’

‘Yes, a pot-bellied pig.’

‘Why?’

‘I think she’s going to eat it.’

‘She bought a pig to eat it?’

‘That’s what she did with the rabbits.’

‘She had rabbits?’

‘Yeah, she raised them and ate them.’

‘How did she kill them?’

‘She brought them to a butcher, I think.’

‘That’s strange.’

‘I know… She has a dog and a parrot too.’

‘So she has a pig, a dog, and a parrot?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Is she going to eat the dog and parrot too?’

‘I don’t think so. Gee, I sure hope not.’

Almond Eyes

I give to you a witnessed interaction in eleventy-one words...

They exit the bank one after the other onto the corner. She pauses to adjust her headscarf. He sees his chance and softly touches her on the shoulder. She turns and looks at him with beautifully almond shaped, brown eyes.

‘Hi, I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you are.’

She smiles. ‘Thank you.’

A brief pause ensues as they consider each other.

‘Would you like to get a coffee or drink?’

‘That’s very sweet, but I’m leaving for home tomorrow.’

‘Oh.’ He looks down. In that instant, he uncharacteristically decides to muster his courage. He looks up again and says, ‘I don’t mind if you don’t.’

Her smile grows wider.

Solutioning

I give to you a corporate conversation in eleventy-one words...

‘Please revert back to me about the solutioning exercise.’

‘Huh?’

‘Revert to me about the solutioning exercise.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘Just what I said.’

‘So, you want me to transform back into you while I do an exercise around “solutioning”?’

‘You know what I mean.’

‘I don’t.’

‘Get back to me when you have some solutions to the problem.’

‘Why don’t you just say that?’

‘I did.’

‘No, you asked me to become you innately at some time in the past.’

‘You’re being pedantic. Words evolve.’

‘I understand word evolution. I’m tired of corporate speak. Say what you mean in plain English.’

‘It is what it is.’

‘No shit, Sherlock.’

Kale and Lentils

I give to you an overheard, paraphrased, one-sided phone conversation at Whole Foods Bowery in New York City in eleventy-one words...

‘I’ve been working out.’

‘Yeah, I have a trainer.’

‘I lift weights and do cardio four times a week.’

‘But I’m still a skinny bitch. If you saw me you’d say I look exactly the same.’

‘I’ve been going for three months. He says I’m exercising and eating right. He tells me to be patient.’

‘I eat like a fucking bird.’

‘Yes, kale and lentils and other tasteless shit. Do you know how much protein powder costs?’

‘I’m over it.’

‘What’s worse is I’m surrounded by people who do nothing and look perfect.’

‘I know.’

‘I know.’

‘I know!’

‘I’m never going to find anyone anyway. Why do I even bother?’