To begin...
House projects. Putting up drywall. Plumbing. Carpentry of any kind. Laying carpet. Anything associated with electricity. Installations and removals. I'm terrible at all these things. Can barely wield a hammer properly without hurting myself, someone else, or one of the aforementioned housing projects. I can be convinced I've found a stud and then have the shelf I've erected from the ashes of oblivion fall right back to its former state. We tried to overhaul the kitchen in our home; we succeeded in destroying a few things. And then we succeeded at picking up the phone and calling someone who could help. Terrible!
In the process of bragging, I promise.
My memory. Lacking, to say the least. I can barely remember what I did yesterday. What I accomplished. What I ate for lunch. What I wore. It all flitters into the silence of the stars' hazy light.
I can barely sing one octave. My voice cracks on the high end. And it rasps into obscurity on the low.
I think I'm right most of the time. Obnoxiously so.
And speaking of being obnoxious, I'm one of those who corrects grammar. A grammar elitist, you might say. 'It's not between you and I, it's between you and me,' I expound confidently. And it's 'to whom should I send the letter, not to who'. 'I spoke slow? No, I spoke slowly.'
I am afraid. Everything, it seems, proves an obstacle that I hesitate to pass. I would both love and hate to pack myself into a small room full of books and never talk to anyone again.
I have bragging rights to all of the above. Not monopolized by any stretch, I know. But rights nonetheless. Why, you ask?
Because I know all of these things about myself. And in knowing, I do something about each one. I may not always succeed, but I succeed a hell of a lot more times than I fail because I deny denial.