Saturday Scribes: Form V. Function

'Good morning, can I help you?' the young security officer asked the well dressed man.

'Yes, I am looking for a Dr. Robert Looney. Is he here?'

'Yes, sir, I believe he's in his office, but you should check with his secretary to see if he is available.'

'Thank you.'

The young man entered through a pair of double doors and found behind the front desk an attractive woman he guessed to be about 40. 'Good morning. I was told to see you about meeting with Dr. Robert Looney.'

'Oh,' she said. 'Well, umm...'

'Is there a problem?'

'It's just that he doesn't normally see visitors. Can I help you with something?' Her reaction boggled the man.

'He doesn't ever see visitors or he doesn't see them without an appointment?'

'Well, it's been a long time since I've had anyone ask to meet with him.'

'When was the last time?'

'Never...' Her voice trailed into oblivion leaving them sharing an awkward pause. She broke it first. 'May I ask what this is regarding?'

He replied, 'The government pays Dr. Looney a significant amount of money to develop unique solutions to difficult problems, at least that's what I was told. And I'm here to check in on those projects.'

'Oh...' She looked down at her monitor and began searching. After about 30 seconds, she looked back up and said, 'You must be Ed Cranston.'

'No, Ed passed away about six months back. I'm his replacement, Jarvis Perez.'

'Oh...' She smiled blankly. 'It's nice to meet you.'

'Yes, so, can I see Dr. Looney?'

'Let me check.' She disappeared into the office behind her and closed the door.

Jarvis heard a brief interchange but could not make out the words. She appeared a moment later and said, 'He will see you now' in her best formal voice. She added, less formally, 'He has a... what you might call a... a delicate temperament. So, just be gentle. Don't do anything to disturb him is all I mean.' She sat back down at her computer and resumed doing whatever it was she was doing.

After throwing the receptionist an odd look, Jarvis entered through the door to find a complete and utter mess. It wasn't an office at all but what looked like a college dorm room replete with bed and desk. Dr. Looney, an older man of about 60, sat at the desk staring at the computer. He was in his flannel pajamas.

'Hello, Dr. Looney.'

'Yes, yes, please sit. No pleasantries,' he blurted in his rather high-pitched voice. 'I am working, you know. Very busy. And sleepy. But no matter. What do you want?'

'Yes, well, my name is...'

'I said no pleasantries, sir. You may leave.'

'Fine. I'm curious to find out about the projects that you're involved in for the government.'

'Which government?' he inquired forgetting that he had just asked Jarvis to leave.

'The U.S. government,' Jarvis answered, a bit perplexed.

'Oh yes. Oh yes! The most recent is a new locomotive. It is a beautiful machine. Limitless in its performance. Incomparable in its aesthetics.'

Jarvis, having not dealt with the man before, was stunned - if only for a moment - by his description. 'You built a new train?'

'Train? Train!? No, not a mere train. It is a locomotive that rivals all that have proceeded it. More sleek than the bullet train, more classic than those developed in the golden age of locomotives.'

'Can I see it?'

'Yes, indeed!' he squealed. He reacted as a child readying to show his latest trinket at show and tell. He pulled from a pile of papers a sketch, colored with crayon. 'Here it is.' He thrust the paper into Jarvis' hands.

Jarvis took one look at the page and asked, 'Why is this locomotive better than others?'

Without hesitation and rather indignantly, Dr. Looney answered 'Can you not see the beauty in its design?'

'Okay, then how does it work?' Jarvis replied.

'I've only been able to make the sketch,' he said, 'I'm working on the functionality at present.'

'How long have you been working on this project?'

'I believe it's been five years. Why?'

'Oh, no reason. We will be in touch.' Jarvis placed the paper on the desk and departed, wondering if he had just entered, and thankfully left, the Twilight Zone.